6 months later!
Blaise, Me
Geez, talk about a hiatus. The sad part is, I am on my computer every day. For some reason it just occurred to me that I NEED to LJ today. But what to LJ about?

I guess we'll do the updates:
.Peigen moved home!!!!!
.I found someone I adore and he moved to Cali 2 weeks later.
.Me & Megan went to Ampersands in New Orleans & had a totally epic night.
.I bought a new bird, then gave it to my mom.
.I bought a car and then gave it to Robbie to fix hahah Still waiting to get it back.
.I start school in a week & a half :)
.Megan quit college to go to realty school.
.Saphira molted for her first time. She now appears to have white hairs.
.I still work at Simpsons.
.Me & Megan acted very very very very very bad in Shreveport.
.Gabbi lived with Megan but no longer does. Gabbi went to jail but we got her out. Seatbelt.
.I have undertook the Wheel of Time series. I hope it never ends :)

That's all. I love you dear LJ.

Blaise, Me
Me & Megan are listening to Lateralus. It's 6:09 am on a Saturday morning! We have friends over at William's. At the beginning of the night it was Chris Brown and 8 Ball, & now it's became APC & Tool. Of Course :) / life is good. I don't have Saphira with me, therefore I frown, but I have Megan and Will, so life is certainly great.

Megan is smoking a cigarette. Gabrielle is sleeping in the guest bed. There are many beers Er'where. :) Things are usual. We had wings for dinner. Christmas shopping tomorrow. Need to clean Will's house. Need to clean Saphira's cage.

Megan-fucked up......but so happy.


For Megan
Blaise, Me


Blaise, Me
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law, Love is the Law, Love under will


In 1964, Leary co-authored a book with Alpert and Ralph Metzner called The Psychedelic Experience, based upon the Tibetan Book of the Dead. In it, they wrote:
"A psychedelic experience is a journey to new realms of consciousness. The scope and content of the experience is limitless, but its characteristic features are the transcendence of verbal concepts, of spacetime dimensions, and of the ego or identity. Such experiences of enlarged consciousness can occur in a variety of ways: sensory deprivation, yoga exercises, disciplined meditation, religious or aesthetic ecstasies, or spontaneously. Most recently they have become available to anyone through the ingestion of psychedelic drugs such as LSD, psilocybin, mescaline, DMT, etc. Of course, the drug does not produce the transcendent experience. It merely acts as a chemical key—it opens the mind, frees the nervous system of its ordinary patterns and structures."

The question for each man to settle is not what he would do if he had means, time, influence and educational advantages; the question is what he will do with the things he has. The moment a young man ceases to dream or to bemoan his lack of opportunities and resolutely looks his conditions in the face, and resolves to change them, he lays the corner-stone of a solid and honorable success.
-Hamilton Wright Mabie

Always have a book at hand, in the parlor, on the table, for the family; a book of condensed thought and striking anecdote, of sound maxims and truthful apothegms. It will impress on your own mind a thousand valuable suggestions, and teach your children a thousand lessons of truth and duty. Such a book is a casket of jewels for your housebold.
-Tryon Edwards

Opportunities to find deeper powers within ourselves come when life seems most challenging.
-Joseph Campbell

Learning how to operate a soul figures to take time.
-Timothy Leary

All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.
-Henry Ellis

When nothing is sure, everything is possible.
-Margaret Drabble

Keep true to the dreams of thy youth.
-Friedrich von Schiller

to our dearest lady, we are who we are so the only choice we have is will we be true to ourselves or fake to everyone else?
-Michael Cotton {3.7.10}

The meme for blind faith secures its own perpetuation by the simple unconscious expedient of discouraging rational inquiry. -Richard Dawkins

No doubt soaring cathedrals, stirring music, moving stories and parables, help a bit. But by far the most important variable determining your religion is the accident of birth. -Richard Dawkins

Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, and small minds discuss people.

I hope that while so many people are out smelling the flowers, someone is taking the time to plant some.
-Herbert Rappaport

Mathematical discoveries, small or great, are never born of spontaneous generation. They always presuppose a soil seeded with preliminary knowledge and well prepared by labour, both conscious and subconscious.
-Henri Poincare

Mathematics, rightly viewed, possesses not only truth, but supreme beauty.
-Bertrand Russell

It is possible that mankind is on the threshold of a golden age; but, if so, it will be necessary first to slay the dragon that guards the door, and this dragon is religion.
-Bertrand Russell

We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It's overrun with sheep and conformists.
-Bill Maher

You cannot argue with the choice of the soul.
-G. K. Chesterton

You must constantly ask yourself these questions: Who am I around? What are they doing to me? What have they got me reading? What have they got me saying? Where do they have me going? What do they have me thinking? And most important, what do they have me becoming? Then ask yourself the big question: Is that okay? You...r life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.
-Jim Rohn

Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed- interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing you last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that?
Del male non fare e paura non avere

Blaise, Me
Gabbi borrowed a car when a hurricane (Issac) is clearly hitting, & now that the weather is getting bad she is frantic.
Megan wore an eye patch to work so that they'd let her skip work, because her eye is hurt. It didn't work as planned so now she has to sit at work for 3 hour's with an eye patch on. :)
We had a Tostado/Hurricane party last night. It was well.
I am sitting at Megan's with Elton, while he paints. It's my day off.

All is well except the gulf coast.

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(no subject)
Blaise, Me
Dear LJ,
This forum is so familiar, & the concept of speaking to you has become so comfortable that you are most certainly a friend. I go back & read old entries & it's like we're reminiscing. It's lovely.

I am at the grandparents right now. Me & Trey are sitting up drinking beers. I haven't been drunk in weeks, it's just a nice night to have a few. I worked 8 hours today 130-930. Same yesterday & tomorrow. I <3 (love) my job :)

There is some really great nEw news of importance: new beaux, his name is William Robinson... Plus we've made it official: I get to call him my "boyfrand" ;)
Things are good. I enjoy being around him. Sometimes it's hard to tell him the things I'm really feeling. I feel like it's a residual effect of being locked away & being snared by Methamphetamine. I just have trouble expressing any feelings. It may be because of my father. He's like that/He raised me. You get the idea. I don't know. I just know me & my counselor are going to hack away at it (if I ever get the nerve to bring it up to her). Beyond that, I enjoy him. The chemistry is SO there (unlike with Craig) + Will has never been involved with that "underworld".

LJ, you know i'll be updating you as things transpire. But cross your fingers. I like this one. & things are so normal & GOOD alas. Pray God be with us, no matter the outcome. <3


Blaise, Me
Dear ever-faithful LJ,
Life is quite good. I love my job, which makes a tremendous difference when you're working full time. I really want to get back into school, yet I don't see myself making the efforts. I NEED to do that. The excuse I recount to myself repeatedly is that Delta has only a few classes that will be expendable to my four year degree. But I need to go ahead and take them. /I just put it on my to-do list/ ;)
I really like James Pattinson music nowadays. Very relaxing.
Craig & I grow apart even as I write this. Every day that passes without us talking feels like a wedge being forced between us. & they are so hard to remove. But at this point in my life I feel mostly apathy in the realm of my personal relationships. Sometimes I speculate that it is because in jail I had no close acquaintances; now that I'm out I'm just not overly concerned. With Craig though there is the constant worry that he will get back on drugs. & then there was court the other day where he really scared me with him temper. If he'd act totally out of control about his lawyer not being on time, then I do not want to be around him when something remotely serious occurs.
On a lighter note, it's 4:21 am agh. Coffee is so great. I have to be at work in 39 minutes and I havent did any getting ready yet.
<3 breanna

Before work
Blaise, Me
I don't have much longer before I have to leave for work. Tonight I am working the big register & someone new is on the little register which primarily means I am "in charge". Agh! :) No I'm hoping it all goes well & that I don't forget anything important lol

Things are good. I actually already prayed this morning that things hold steady how they are for a while. Just working & reading a really good book most days. I got asked on a date for Friday. We're gonna go see a movie. I don't know the guy at all, he comes in my store. But he's cute & has a sense of humor. Like I read once: there's nothing like a flare of humor to let someone know there's a human behind a strange face :) Anyways he's normal & all, so I'm gonna stress about ways to tiptoe around my life until i'm ready to reveal a little about my life. lol

This is a picture papaw took of me yesterday morning. I was tending to my sunflowers... In my nightgown and nightpants lol :)

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

I had the craziest dream. Me & some people were snorting methamphetamine - the night before I had to meet my p. o.(this is my reoccurring nightmare & has been for months) but then there was a very odd twist on it. Me & this whole army of girls - like every female i've ever known - where trying to get Joe out of jail. But then Craig stepped out of the side of the woods & I walked over to him & he said, "But you were supposed to be my future."

I woke up and called him. I think it signifies how heavy the idea of me or Craig relapsing is. Because he is my best friend & if he did, I'd have to reorder my entire life structure. Because we are so close, if I did, it would be a tremendous letdown to him.
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Songs to Remember
Blaise, Me
Sequoya Prep School - About Rain
Death Cab for Cutie - Follow You Into the Dark
Silversun Pickups - Catch & Release
John Mayer - Vultures
Chris Brown - Poppin
Lil Wayne - Watch my shoes(No Ceilings)
Lil Wayne - Lollipop
Eminem - Not Afraid
Kanye West - Through the Wire
Rhianna - Take a Bow
Justin Nozuka - After Tonight
Fort Minor - Where'd You Go
Kenny Chesney - Somewhere with You
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